I didn't mention this earlier, but a couple weeks ago, I taught my boyfriend about bread baking. We made a loaf of bread, and it was delicious, and even though I commandeered the production, I tried not to. I let him knead. I let him mix. Or at least, I tried....
I love teaching him how to bake, because it makes me think about our future... it makes me think about when we have the cafe, and it makes me think of him helping me get things off the ground... and helping and having this become ours instead of just my dream. I love it.
Since then, I've cooked copious amounts of food for Superbowl Sunday, only to see my first Superbowl party thwarted by watching my team lose.... Pizza bites and wings and dip and I did it all myself!!!
Last week, we made Panko-coated salmon and potato puree, with a pan sauce made out of Riesling and butter and pan juices. It was pretty lovely.
Tonight, I undertook meatloaf again. Personally, I have only good meatloaf experiences to think about. The first time I made it, I thought it was absolutely delicious, and was told by my roommate that it "wasn't meatloaf". I think that what she meant to say was that it wasn't the kind of meatloaf that her mother made. And my friend from work told me that meatloaf doesn't really taste like anything, it's about the sauce that you put on it. I don't really think that's a good idea, because that means that all that her mother's meatloaf was composed of was ground beef and possibly onions. Mine was delicious... ground beef and ground buffalo (I know, I know, bad bad bad but yummy!!!), sauteed mushrooms, diced shallots and garlic, panko, parmesan, Bisto, Worcestershire.... egg... bake.
To go with, I made gravy and roasted garlic mashed potatoes. They were nummy. It's probably the only food I make that I really truly just.... love. It's so good. I tried to let my boyfriend help this time, not because I don't like him helping but because I cook mostly by feel, and I'm not analytical unless I'm baking... and since he's a beginner cook, he needs description, and step by stepping... and sometimes I just cruise and feel bad that I left him sitting on the couch.
I work hard at trying to let my boyfriend help... I love cooking together because as much as I like to just cook for him when it's a surprise, sometimes I feel like it's more fun to cook if he's cooking with me - if we're cooking together, for each other. But it's hard for me to slow it down and go step by step - I have to work on that. Because he wants to cook with me, and I want him to cook with me, so I need to make cooking something that we can do together... something that we can share. Because that's my dream. Cooking together. being together. Sharing something that means so much to me, says so much about love and caring and everything.... that's what I want.
I just have to let him learn.